In order to see less of what you’re not interested in, TikTok recommends long-pressing on videos and simply hitting the “not interested” button to remould your FYP. I briefly considered this approach but worried that by smacking the algorithm whenever it misbehaved I might end up getting bounced to some weird random corner of the app, like sheep-shearing TikTok. I decided this tactic would be cheating, but still resolved to take a more proactive approach the next day.
Go out Three
Rather than trust the algorithm, I decided to take matters into my own hands and actively look for content more befitting the state of my love life, or lack thereof. As I ventured for the first time into the Explore section of the app, I clocked my suggested searches: “boyfriend gift ideas,” “cuddles with boyfriend,” “boyfriend appreciation.” For fuck’s sake. I had never searched for any of these things in my life yet TikTok was basically calling me a simp to my face. I ignored the slander and instead used the manual search option to find and furiously engage with every video I could under hashtags like #breakup, #heartbreak, and #dumped.
As it turned out, I was late to the party: separation TikTok is basically among the app’s extremely energetic subcultures (the #breakup hashtag alone has over 9 billion views). It was here I found weepy, snivvily solace among dozens of Gen Z-ers documenting their breakups day-by-day by shooting themselves crying, mulling more the lost partners, or doling aside sobering suggestions.
Was this self care or self-destructive? I wondered. To answer that, I reached out to Gillian Myhill, a sex and relationship expert who once ran her own tech company. We agreed algorithms can be cruel things and she assured me it wasn’t unnatural to be annoyed by the couples polluting my FYP, rather, “you’re more in tune to it” when you’ve been through a breakup. “You have a different tint on your vision,” she said.
Thus is delving to the #separation TikTok an excellent coping method, after that? “In my opinion given that people we discover peace and quiet or wisdom knowing we are not the actual only real of these, to learn we’re not alone – there are many people going through such things,” Gillian told me. “There is certainly a kind of camaraderie there are from this. Either if you’re sad just be around people who see the pain otherwise who will be dealing with it. It’s part of new healing up process in which you go-away and lick your wounds – and you can a method you might think about the relationship is always to talk to other humans regarding the problems plus skills.”
My foray into the miserable world of breakup content seemed to have worked. Perhaps spurred on by the fresh re-launch of Taylor Swift’s disastrous breakup record Yellow, 12 videos about the now painfully relatable “All Too Well” jumped up at me. In some of them, women joked on the separating with the men for the sole purpose of fully immersing themselves in the song’s much anticipated 10-minute version (I mean. be careful what you wish for). Maybe TikTok was just reflecting the cultural moment as it should, or maybe it was finally reading the room. To keep the momentum going, I doubled back through my liked videos and forwarded all the sad ones onto my friends for good measure. In Taylor’s words, this was exhausting.
I wasn’t the first person to have this disease. Lydia Venn, 24, an other TikTok user which experience a break up the 2009 year, shared my problems. “About what From the it definitely decided the latest formula is geared to clips I would personally saw during a romance,” she appreciated. “I got to alter my personal algorithm so i wouldn’t be shown them as it’s needless to say not what you want to pick in the course of a break up.”